On Success

[tesla]

Usually when I talk about the common definition of success I offset the word in quotes, thus: His "success" as a businessman was undimmed by the qualms he had about working in his particular industry. The quotes represent skepticism, and an agreement to temporarily stipulate the prevalent definition for the sake of a particular argument or anecdote.

However, the definition of success that I live by is different. It's entirely personal. It is prioritized. It says this:

• I will have enough money to meet all of my needs and some of my wants
• I will not put myself in a position where I have to worry about my debts
• I will be able to live alone in a comfortable but not extravagant home
• I will have a job that I can leave at the office
• I will routinely have 3-day weekends

There's more, of course, but those are the key work/life pieces.

I realize that right now the blended work/play lifestyle is all the rage, but currently I don't want one.

Maybe this is because I haven't found my calling, that thing I want to do all the time. Maybe it's because my to-do list has never, ever been done, and I'm not content to just leave things sitting undone while I can consider myself to be "working." Maybe it's a side-effect of feeling like I need to please everybody all the time (which itself is a classic side effect of being an alcoholic's child) - a compulsion which I'm getting over, but which requires constant vigilance not to skip back into. Maybe it's just that I like having large chunks of time wherein I don't need to deal with the input of other people.

Honestly, I'm having a hard time imagining that thing which, if it came with any kind of obligation, I wouldn't want to escape from sometimes. It wouldn't even matter if it was something that I currently do purely for pleasure; introduce the obligation and you diminish the joy that I would take in it. And I don't believe that I'm alone in feeling that way.

Comments

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

"I need to please everybody all the time"

Huh I thought that was the side effect of being a girl in our society. Not that I don't come from a long line of drinkers.

[guppiecat]

I don't think it's necessarily linked to sex-roles. If I had to guess, I'd suspect it's related to being a child raised within certain class structures.