(no subject)

[tesla]

Picked up my guitar today and actually played for the first time in months. It's amazing how quickly everything came back. Well, the fingerings and theory, anyway. I'm horribly out of voice, even for me.

Must call my instructor and explain why I dropped off the face of the planet, or anyway that even though I'm not taking lessons this season that I intend to come back someday. I hope to be able to do so again once I'm done with house stuff. The real reason I stopped playing for a while was the one-two punch of profound personal unhappiness plus the aftershocks of a case of stage fright all out of proportion to reality. The moment I forget that I'm doing this for my own edification (and hence anything I can accomplish is by definition "good enough") I paralyze myself with doubt.

Sometimes I wish that the misery=creativity equation worked for me as it seems to for some people, but no such luck. And perhaps not having that is the kick in the pants I need to find my way back around to happiness.

Anyway, I feel like singing again, and that's enough.

Of course I should be working on the house. I'll head over there next. I've been hesitating a bit because I seem to have aggravated some soft tissue in my shoulder and I want to let it heal. (Playing my guitar - a habit that *always* irritates my left shoulder - is clearly a brilliant move on my part.) I think I'll be right-handed today.

I've brought my kumquats in for the winter, and they're dropping leaves all over the place. I have them in a south window on the second floor, so they're getting as much light as I can provide them indoors. I'm afraid this is simply a stage that they have to go through, but it's hard to watch. A couple of the fruits are ripening, but since I just bought these in late May they've had a very short growing season this year, so who knows whether the remainder will ripen at all. Any advice from folks who have grown citrus in a northern zone would be most appreciated.

I'll be making red beans and rice for dinner tonight, and (surprisingly) I actually remembered to soak the beans. Oooh, I should make cornbread. Anyone have a good recipe for me? I have all the staples but no actual corn, and am not planning a trip to the market today.



Happy Saturday!